


Autumn Leaves

by Styles_Tomlinson_123



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cancer, Collab, Fluff, M/M, Mpreg, Sadness, Smut, Top!Harry, bottom!Louis, idek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-07
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-23 20:47:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1579049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Styles_Tomlinson_123/pseuds/Styles_Tomlinson_123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not ok.</p><p>Harry is dying of lung cancer, and Louis ends up pregnant twice.</p><p>Only, Harry never got to hold the second.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Autumn Leaves

**Author's Note:**

> HI
> 
> so we did this as a rp, but i thought i'd post it here because it's really good, in my opinion. enjoy. c:
> 
> happy mpreg month! ;D
> 
> -emi
> 
> emi is louis; bree, harry.

Cancer.

It was the big 'c' word. The word to end all. It ruined lives, ruined families, ruined strong households.

But, to Harry, sicknesses like cancer were just what they were called; sicknesses. They had no feeling behind them. Every moment someone spent hanging on the word was another moment they wasted.

Harry embraced sickness, and just went along with it. When his aunt had passed away from breast cancer, Harry dealt with it. When his teacher announced he was going to be absent for some time because of his heart disease, but never came back, Harry dealt with it.

And when he found out that there was a tumor about the size of a peanut growing in his left lung, he, again, just dealt with it.

Because that's really all life is about. Dealing with what it throws at you.

Louis sighed as he sat on the little edge their window had, staring out at thr rainy London sky. The weather seemed to match his mood. Dreary and sad.

Finding out Harry had lung cancer was hard. The outcome being uncertain seemed to make it worse.

He stared over at Harry, who was reading silently on the couch, and sighed. His eyes took in every last detail of his boyfriend. From the dark, chocolate colored curls, to the pouty lips. From the bright green eyes down to soft stubble on his chin. His limbs were long and gangly, his skin a creamy pale. Harry was perfection in Louis's eyes. A perfection he never wanted to lose.

Harry felt eyes on him, ones that he grew familiar to. His lifted up momentarily, catching on Louis'. Harry smiled softly, placing a bookmark into the book he was reading.

"What's up, buttercup?" Harry asked, raising his eyebrows at Louis as he awaited an answer from his boyfriend.

Louis shrugged as he pulled his knees to his chest. He rested his chin on the top of knees as he stared blankly out the window in front of him.

Harry frowned, getting up from his spot on the couch. He stood up slowly, not wanting to wind himself. When he had got to the window seat, he sat across from Louis.

"Seriously, babe. What's wrong?" Harry asked, running his fingers over Louis' knees.

Louis looked down at Harry's hand and gently pulled it into his lap. He silently played with his finger, running his smaller fingers up and down Harry's. His eyes started filling with tears as he put it on his cheek, finding comfort in the warmth.

Harry knew instantly what was wrong with Louis, what was making him so upset. He sighed, pulling Louis close to him, comforting the man as he cried against Harry's chest.

"Sh, baby, sh," Harry whispered, running his fingers through Louis' hair.

Louis squeezed his eyes shut as he buried his nose in the familiar warmth. He clung tightly onto the shirt Harry was wearing as Harry's hands moved up and down his back.

He took a shaky breath, one that led to a small sob. "I love you so much," he said thickly, hiccupping. "I don't want anything to happen. I don't want you to die."

Harry let out a shaky breath, trying to keep himself together. He couldn't spend his time crying over something he couldn't control. He did, however, need to comfort his upset boyfriend. But Harry was stuck on what to do exactly. What to say, more like it.

He couldn't just say I'm going to be okay, don't worry, I won't die. Because, well, that was just false hope for the both of them. And he couldn't very well tell Louis to just deal with it.

Louis was different than Harry in many ways. For one, Louis was very emotional over the fact that Harry and been diagnosed with lung cancer. Two, Louis cried a lot when he was passionate about something. Harry rarely ever cried, and he especially never cried when others were around. Three, Louis had to be told the right thing right away, or else he would think worse case scenario. He spent too much time worrying and not enough time living.

"I love you, too, baby," Harry had finally settled for, pressing kisses to Louis' unwashed hair.

Louis hiccupped as he sobbed into Harry's chest. "Promise me, no matter what, you won't do anything that might effect us as a couple? I have enough to deal with already," he said quietly as he cried.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, confused by the request. He wasn't exactly sure what Louis was going on about. But he pressed another kiss to Louis' forehead anyways, and held him closer.

"I promise. I'm in love with you and I wouldn't dare to anything to ruin this relationship," Harry whispered, running his hands over Louis' back.

Louis nodded, wiping his tears away. "I'm sorry, I just...I needed to be reassured. You know...you know how self-conscious I can get. I don't know. I love you so much."

Harry sighed, leaning down a bit and lifting Louis' chin to kiss him slowly. When they had pulled away, Harry whispered, "It's you and me forever, babe. No need for you to worry."

Louis nodded, snuggling his head into the crook of Harry's neck. "I love you," he whispered.

Harry smiled and wrapped his arms around Louis' waist. "I love you, too," Harry promised, threading their fingers together. He kissed Louis' hand quickly, smiling down at Louis.

Louis smiled and stared down at their connected hands. "I think about what will happen after you're gone," Louis admitted in a whisper. "I wonder how long it'll take me to move on...if I ever do. Is that bad?"

Harry's chest tightened. "Louis...if I die, I _want_ you to move on. I need you to be okay. And I want you to be happy," Harry muttered, looking into Louis' watery eyes.

Louis nodded and sighed as he looked away. "We should probably start dinner, yeah?"

Harry smiled small, hesitant. "Yeah. We probably should." Harry bit his lip as Louis climbed off his lap and stood up. Harry's fingers touched by his side, wanting to reach out and map Louis' body. But he held back, shaking his head.

"What were you planning?" Harry asked, playing with his fingers.

"I don't know," Louis answered quietly. "I was thinking BLTs."

Harry nodded, standing up and stretching, groaning as his back popped. When Louis gave him a worried look, Harry waved it off. "I cracked my back," Harry said, biting his lip.

Louis nodded and kissed Harry's cheek, his lips lingering there for a second. He pulled back and gave Harry a small smile as he gently cupped Harry's cheek.

Harry smiled back, placing his hands carefully on Louis' waist. "You okay, babe?" Harry asked in a whisper.

"I don't wanna forget your beautiful face," he replied, finger gently stroking Harry's cheek. He chuckled sadly before sighing and walking into the kitchen.

Harry's heart stuttered as he followed Louis to the kitchen. "Are you cooking or am I?" Harry asked as he pressed a kiss to the back of Louis' neck. He trapped the older man against the counter, leaving him minimal space.

"Can I cook? I've been practicing," Louis said, laying his head on Harry's shoulder, smiling and chewing on his bottom lip.

Harry chuckled, pressing a kiss to Louis' cheek. "Of course, my love," Harry responded.

Louis hummed. "You're gonna have to move," he giggled.

Harry chuckled and nosed at Louis' neck. "Maybe I don't wanna move," Harry muttered. He wrapped his arms around Louis' shoulders. "I'm a koala."

Louis rolled his eyes fondly and stuck out his bum, wiggling it. "Back, you oversized koala."

Harry snorted, kissing Louis' neck again before stepping back, hopping on to the island behind him. "Now," Harry said, kicking his feet back and forth, "Do you even know how to cook bacon?"

"I, uh, no," Louis admitted quietly, blushing hotly. "You put it in a pan?"

Harry snickered at Louis' confusion. "Sure. Make it the way you want," Harry answered, chuckling when Louis stomped his foot in frustration.

"Make your own damn dinner then," Louis snapped before stomping out of the kitchen. He walked into the bedroom and closed the door, locking it, and crawling into bed.

Harry's face dropped. He hadn't meant to upset Louis, was just joking around. He sighed, looking down at the ground, rolling his feet.

It'd been like this for awhile now. Just three months ago, Harry had found out about the cancer. That month, Louis was depressed and practically suicidal. The next month, Louis was overbearing. And this month, Louis' emotions were haywire. One second Harry would be tickling him and Louis would be giggling. Then, the next, Louis would punch Harry in the arm so he would stop, which was unusual. It didn't hurt Harry, at least not physically. But he was always worried about Louis, worried he was going to snap soon.

"Louis?" Harry called out as he hopped from the counter, walking over to the room. He rapped on it twice, sighing when he couldn't hear any movement on the other side. "Louis, my love, please open the door."

"Go away," Louis snapped, his bottom lip wobbling. "I don't wanna talk to you right now."

Harry sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Louis, babe. Just open the door. I'm sorry for making fun. I just wanted a laugh. Which was wrong," Harry apologized.

Louis sniffled and snuggled deeper under the covers. "M'not hungry anymore," he mumbled, "I'm just tired."

Harry bit his lip. "Okay. I wasn't that hungry either. We can just cuddle in bed. Okay? You just need to open the door," Harry said.

Louis didn't answer a moment before slowly getting up. He unlocked the door with shaky fingers before opening the door and looking up at Harry with watery blue eyes.

Harry pulled Louis into a hug, kissing Louis' head. Louis was crying at this point, making Harry clutch onto him tighter. "What's wrong, love?" Harry asked, running his fingers up and down Louis' back.

Louis sniffled as he clung onto Harry. "I'm pregnant," he answered, crying harder.

The air was knocked out of Harry's lungs, stomach flipping. "Pr-pregnant?" Harry asked, pulling away from Louis to look him in the eyes. "Are...are you serious?"

Louis hiccupped, nodding. "S'why I asked you about not leaving. I found out a few days ago when I went to the doctor's because we thought I had the flu. Well, I found out I was pregnant."

A mix of emotions were going through Harry. He was happy, because he was going to have a baby with Louis. It was something they'd been wanting to do, except it was after they got married. But, it was nice.

Harry was scared, though, too, because this was a baby that might have to grow up with only one parent. He didn't want Louis to have to deal with that.

But, there was nothing they could really do. Louis would have to have the baby.

"How far along are you?" Harry asked, hands moving from Louis' hips to his stomach.

Louis smiled. "Um, s-six weeks. Doctor said the baby was healthy. A surprise, but healthy," he answered.

Harry chuckled. "A surprise indeed. I'm...I'm scared. But. But I'm so fucking happy, Lou. My baby is in you. _Our_  baby is in you," Harry breathed, tears coming to his eyes.

Louis chuckled wetly and put his hands on top of Harry's. "I'm sorry I've been really moody lately. Mood swings."

Harry shook his head. "No, no, it's fine. Don't even apologize," Harry said, kneeling down so he was at Louis' stomach. He pressed a kiss there, pulling back only to place his forehead there. "Hi, baby," Harry whispered, looking up at Louis and chuckling.

Louis smiled and ran a hand through Harry's curls. "I don't wanna know the gender until they're born. But if, um," Louis paused to swallow around the lump in his throat. "If you don't make it to see the baby being born, it's ok for you to know the gender." Louis bit his finger as he hiccupped, fresh tears falling down his cheeks. "God I'm so emotional today."

Harry stood up, winding himself of his air, and hugged Louis. He breathed heavily for a minute before calming himself. "No...no, it's fine," Harry breathed. He cleared his throat and shook his head. "I'm not going...to let you ruin it for yourself. I'm...I'm going to see my baby be born."

"Let's go sit down ok?" Louis said as he lead Harry to the bed. He pushed Harry onto the edge of the bed and gently cupped his cheek, smiling.

Harry was still breathing a bit hard, but his breathing was slowly coming to him. "Howdy," Harry said when his breathing was back. He looked up at Louis and chuckled a little.

Louis chewed on his bottom lip. "Be careful babe," he said softly, giving Harry a small smile.

Harry nodded. "I'm always careful, sweets," Harry said with a wink.

Louis rolled his eyes before gently kissing Harry. "I gotta use the loo," he announced, walking to the bathroom.

Harry stared after him, biting his lip as Louis walked off. He rushed over, then, to the dresser, breathing deeply so he wouldn't lose it. He grabbed the box sitting on the top of his sock drawer, then went back to the bed. He stared down at the ring box, biting his lip hard as to not grin. He had wanted to do this later on, on Louis' birthday, which was when they had met. It was still a month away, though, and Harry couldn't wait any longer. He wasn't getting any healthier and Louis wasn't getting any younger.

Louis finished and washed his hands quickly. He had his hand on his stomach, smiling even though it was still flat. He walked into the bedroom and stopped at the doorway when he saw a small box in Harry's hands.

"What's that?"

Harry jumped, hiding the box behind his back. "N-nothing," he muttered, blushing hard.

Louis shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "It's not...it's not bad is it?"

Harry shook his head, clearing his throat. He froze, then. "Well. Um. I hope not at least. C-come sit down. Right next to me," Harry said, patting the space next to him.

Louis nodded sat next to Harry on the bed. He gave him a small smile as he reached for the hand still on Harry's lap, lacing their fingers together.

Harry smiled shakily and stood up slowly. He dropped down, slowly again, on to one knee, his hand never leaving Louis'. He held up the box and took a deep breath.

"Louis, I know a lot has happened today. Emotions wise. But, I need to get this out, because I don't know how much longer I have. Deal with it, I would say, wait until Louis' birthday. But. I just couldn't," Harry rambled. He cleared his throat. "I have loved you since I first met you in year three when you poured sand in my hair. I might have looked mad, but I loved you. And I have never stopped loving you. I will never stop loving you. I want to marry you. Because I love you and because I want to make sure you're going to be taken care of if I...pass away. I've done a lot to make sure you and the baby, now, are okay. Please let me take this final step. Louis William Tomlinson, will you marry me?"

Louis covered his mouth, a sob breaking through. He nodded quickly, holding his left hand out for Harry to slip the ring onto. When he did, the ring looked like it belonged on his finger.

"I love you so much," he said thickly.

Harry smiled wide, chest bubbling with love. "I'm so in love with you, Louis," Harry whispered, sitting on the bed, cupping Louis' cheek.

Louis cried happily. "I'm so in love with you, Harry."

He climbed onto Harry's lap, snuggling close into him.

Harry gripped onto Louis, rubbing his back. He pressed a kiss to the top of Louis' head. "You're so beautiful, Louis," Harry whispered as he ran his fingers through Louis' hair.

Louis giggled. "You're handsome," he replied, "And too good for me."

Harry lightly smacked Louis' back. "Don't you ever say that. I will never be better than you. If anything, you're too good for me," Harry said.

"No," Louis giggled. He cupped Harry's cheek before kissing him happily. "Me love."

Harry chuckled. "Me gusta," Harry mumbled, his hands going down to Louis' bum. He quirked an eyebrow, smirking slightly. "Enh?"

Louis giggled before smacking Harry's hand away. "That's my bum you're groping, mister. And no. I'm too tired."

Harry snickered, patting Louis' bum before laying down. "Fine. Let's get some sleep, then, since neither one of us are hungry," Harry said.

Louis smiled as he stood up. He stripped down to hjs boxers before climbing under the covers. He smiled up at Harry as Harry stared fondly down at him.

Harry smiled. "Whatcha thinking about, babe?" Harry asked, kissing Louis' forehead. He pulled off his clothes slowly under the covers, like he had been ever since he had trouble breathing.

"We're having a baby," Louis whispered happily, putting Harry's hand on his stomach. "There's a baby in me."

Harry rubbed Louis' stomach slowly. "Yeah. My baby. Our baby. A baby. This is amazing."

Louis nodded in agreement. "It's wonderful. A miracle, even, that we're able to conceive a baby."

Harry smiled wide. "Yeah, it really is, isn't it. God, I can't wait to see you in a tuxedo, belly sticking out. You're gonna look so beautiful," Harry whispered.

Louis giggled and laced his fingers with Harry's on his stomach. "You're such a sap."

Harry snorted. "Yes, but I'm your sap. So I have every reason to sap you up," Harry said, making himself confused.

"Wait...what?" Louis asked, confused.

Harry shrugged. "I have no idea. My medication must be getting to me," Harry joked.

Louis gulped, nodding as he cuddled further into Harry's bare chest, closing his eyes as he fell asleep.

Harry sighed, rubbing at Louis' back as he stared at the ceiling. Thoughts were racing through his head, emotions in his chest. It was becoming harder and harder to just deal with the cancer. He had a family to worry about now. A baby that could be without his daddy.

Harry stayed up to two in the morning, which was when he had finally cried himself to sleep.

Two months had passed since Harry proposed to Louis, and Louis told Harry about the pregnancy. Those two months may have been difficult, but Louis and Harry stayed strong through it all.

Currently, Louis was cooking spaghetti in the kitchen, the small swell of his almost four month bump in between him and the stove. He hummed a quiet tune under his breath as he cooked.

Outside, there were grey clouds covering the sky, threatening to rain.

"Harry?" Louis called, "Is it supposed to rain?"

Harry looked out the window and shrugged. "No, it's not 'posed to, but it seems it's gonna," Harry said, gasping for air after. He coughed, wincing at the pain in his throat.

Louis flinched when Harry gasped for air. He was getting worse.

"Babe? Would you like a drink of water?" he asked in a strained voice.

Harry shook his head, coughing again. "No, no, I'm fine," Harry said, wheezing a bit. He coughed again, finally clearing his throat. "It's just the cold the doctor was talking about. It drained into my lungs and now I'm just coughing it out. I'm fine, Louis."

Louis chewed on his bottom lip as he finished cooking dinner. "Dinner's done!"

Harry cheered quietly, clearing his throat again after. "Are we eating at the table or in bed?" Harry asked, wheezing as he put some food onto his plate.

"At the table," Louis replied, dishing up his own plate.

Harry nodded, grabbing his inhaler from the counter and walked over to the table. When he reached the table and sat down, he used the inhaler, breathing in deeply. "Dinner looks amazing," Harry said.

Louis blushed as he sat across from Harry at the table. "Thanks. You look amazing."

Harry snorted. "Louis, no I don't. I've had two surgeries, I'm getting skinny, and I have to use my inhaler every three minutes. Plus I have to use a breathing machine at night. I don't look amazing," Harry said

"Well I think you do," Louis replied happily, putting his hand on his stomach. "Both of us do."

Harry smiled softly. "Okay. Thank you, Louis and son," Harry said, winking at Louis, who rolled his eyes.

"It might be a girl for all you know," Louis giggled as he put both his hands on his stomach. "But I hope it's a boy. And he looks like you."

Harry smiled. "I hope it's a boy and it looks like you. Or a girl and it looks like you. Well. Similar to you," Harry said.

Louis rolled his eyes as he finished eating. "I hope he looks like you so I can look at him and remember you," he said quietly.

Harry bit his lip and sighed out his nose. "I...I hope the baby comes out healthy. And beautiful. And I want him or her to have my eyes. Your button nose. My full lips and your smooth, tanned skin. Your hair color, but my curls. And my height, so he or she can tower over you and help you reach the peanut butter on the top shelf."

"I just hope they're healthy," Louis said as he got up, taking his dishes with him.

Harry nodded, handing Louis his empty plates.

Louis quickly did the dishes before watching Harry carefully as they walked into the living room. They got comfortable on the couch, Louis sitting next to Harry, and Harry with his arm around Louis's shoulders.

Harry watched the television with glassy eyes, occasionally peeking over at Louis. "So. How was your day?" Harry asked.

Louis had received a job at the local bank, which was okay and all. If Harry was still leaving the house to work. He felt horrible that Louis had to go out and work all day and then come home to slave over Harry, making dinner, cleaning, and then worrying until midnight every time Harry stopped breathing for a moment.

"It was ok, I guess. Some people were rude, but that's nothing unusual," Louis said, sighing. "How was yours, babe?"

Harry sniffled a bit, wiping at his nose. He sneezed, wheezing in a breath. "It was okay. No one asked for any assistance," Harry answered, talking about the computer job he had taken up to help support them both.

It was a bit silly, really. All Harry did was sit there and hope someone would ask for some help with their electronics. But it made him up to one hundred dollars a day. So that was one benefit.

"That sounds boring," Louis replied, kissing Harry's cheek. "I talked to my boss today, and he said I'll have months eight and nine off, and then the following month."

Harry smiled. "Yeah? Well that's good. I'll try by then to get some other job that makes it so I don't have to leave the house," Harry said. He coughed, sniffling after. "God, this cold is never going to go away."

Louis furrowed his eyebrows and rubbed circles into Harry's palm. "Harry, it's alright, I'm on maternity leave. They're still paying me, babe. I don't want you overdoing yourself just to provide for us. We're living comfortably, yeah?"

Harry sighed. "I want to be able to spoil you and also make sure you and our baby have enough if I ever do die. Louis, this is important to me. I know we're living great compared to a lot of people. But my cancer is going to get worse at some point. That means more surgeries, more oxygen, more this and that," Harry replied. He sighed again, groaning into his hand.

"Harry, you don't have to spoil me. Anyday I wake up and see that you're still with me is luxury enough. And I know it'll get worse Harry, I'm...I'm prepared for that. Yeah, I'll still cry uncontrollably, but...it's not like when we first found out. I just needed time to accept it, and I do. I cherish everyday you're with me. That's enough spoiling for me," Louis said, laying his head on Harry's shoulder.

Harry clutched Louis tighter, kissing his cheek quickly. "I love you, baby," Harry whispered. He brushed Louis' hair out of his eyes, smiling down at his fiancé.

"I love you too," Louis whispered, "Both Bug and I."

A chuckle fell from Harry's lips. "Bug, eh?" Harry asked, grinning and rubbing Louis' tummy.

Louis giggled and nodded. "Well I didn't wanna call him or her 'baby' the whole nine months. Plus, it's cute. Little Bug."

Harry hummed, kissing up and down Louis' neck softly, nosing at his smooth jaw after. "My Big Bug and Little Bug. The two loves of my life," Harry whispered.

Louis blushed and laced his fingers with Harry's on his stomach. "And you're just a pest. But you're my pest," he said, kissing Harry's nose.

Harry snorted, leaning up and forward to press a kiss to Louis' lips. "I like being your pest," Harry said.

"Let's elope," Louis said suddenly. "I don't wanna waste another minute without having your last name."

Harry pulled away, laughing a little. "You're kidding, right?" Harry asked when Louis was looking at him with a steady, serious smile.

"It'll save time and money," Louis reasoned, "Our mums could still be there, and we could still dress up. I just wanna get married before you get worse."

Harry laughed a little, only this time in disbelief. "O-okay! Okay, yeah, let's go! Now? Tomorrow? Anytime is good for me!" Harry said, laughing a little harder. This sent him in a round of coughs, but he was still smiling like an idiot.

Louis's smile faded. "Y-you're not being sarcastic are you? Because I wanna get married, Haz," he said quietly.

Harry shook his head. "No! No! I'm just a bit shocked, 'sall. I want to marry you right fucking now. I wanted to marry you last week and the month before that and back in year twelve," Harry said.

Louis blushed and buried his face in the crook of Harry's neck. "How long, exactly, have you had this ring?" he asked, twisting said ring around his finger.

Harry thought for a moment, not entirely sure. "I don't know, how old are we?" Harry asked, laughing a little.

Louis snickered, "You're twenty-three, and I'm twenty-four."

Harry blushed, biting his lip. "It's a promise ring I bought you when I was eighteen," Harry muttered, smiling shyly.

Louis laughed. "Really now? And why did you decide to give it to me as an engagement ring then?" he teased, "I'm gonna be wearing it for the rest of my life, you could at least get a bigger rock."

Harry nodded. "I've been planning this forever. Apparently. And shut up, it's awesome as it is, you gold digger," Harry joked back. He poked at Louis' sides as he said so.

Louis giggled and flicked Harry in the ear. "We have a shared bank account you...dildo."

Harry wrinkled his nose. "I don't know. I don't remember all of me being in your ass at all. Just me dick," Harry said, sticking out his tongue.

"Said dick that hasn't been in the fabulous arse of mine in a few months," Louis rolled his eyes. "My vibrator's been working on overtime."

Harry pouted, joking mood leaving him for a moment. Louis must have seen him falter, because he questioned Harry immediately.

"Do I like...not please you, Louis?" Harry asked, twiddling his thumbs. It was something he worried about; holding Louis back. He knew that the cancer would make things harder for him. But he hated the thought of taking Louis down with him.

"No Harry," he said softly. "I mean...I miss having sex, yeah, but I understand. I know how easily you lose your breath, and sex would be like, a lot to even ask for. I love you, Harry. To the moon and back. And back again."

Harry bit his lip. "I mean. I can still do things. If you ever want. I know it might be work for you, but you can ride me. I can still eat you out. Finger you. I just don't want to...make this relationship not work because there's no sex behind it."

Harry sighed, feeling a bit ridiculous.

Louis sighed and brushed the hair from Harry's eyes. "A relationship isn't based on sex, but it is a bonus. I don't mind being a little virgin Mary," Louis chuckled quietly. "It's gonna be hell, though, when I get really horny."

Harry laughed. He rubbed Louis' cheeks. "I can always. You know. _Assist_  you," Harry said, waggling his eyebrows.

Louis chuckled, "Yeah yeah, you little horny perve. You just like watching me bounce on a dildo."

Harry snorted. He, then furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait. When the hell do you do these things? I'm always home. Where are you finding this time to hop on a dildo and go for a joy ride?" Harry asked.

"You're out cold every night, and you're a heavy sleeper. I usually can't fall asleep, so I do it then," Louis replied, running a hand through his hair.

Harry gaped a little. "So you _d_ _on't_  stay up to listen to me sleep? You stay up to masturbate?" Harry asked, laughing a little.

"Hmm...a little of both, honestly," Louis replied, giggling at Harry.

Harry snorted, then blew a raspberry in Louis' face. "Thank you so much for making sure I'm breathing okay while you're fucking yourself," Harry said, rubbing Louis' thigh.

"Mmm," Louis hummed. He quickly straddled Harry's hips as he dipped down for a kiss, fingers tangling in Harry's curls. "Maybe you could help next time."

Harry smiled up at Louis, still rubbing at his thigh. "I'm up for that any day," Harry said, winking.

Louis snickered before climbing off of Harry's lap. He walked into the bedroom and grabbed his vibrator and lube. He walked back out and straddled Harry's lap. He started licking the tip of the dildo, sucking on the tip.

Harry's breath hitched, pupils starting to grow larger as he watched Louis carefully. "God, Lou, you're gonna ruin my mental state with how unbelievably sexy you are," Harry breathed.

Louis smirked as he slowly took more into his mouth. He felt the tip hit the back of his throat before he pulled it back out.

Harry gripped onto Louis' thighs, growing hard against his own thigh. He bit his lip as Louis practically deep throated the toy, not gagging once. "You're so hot," Harry groaned.

Louis quickly stood and pulled off his clothes. He climbed back onto Harry's lap, one hand on the slight swell of his stomach while the other grabbed his toy. He grabbed Harry's fingers and quickly sucked on them, getting them nice and wet before bringing them down to his entrance, sucking on the vibrator again.

Harry got the hint and instantly wiggled in one finger, gasping at the tightness. He fingered Louis slowly, wanting to make sure he got nice and stretched. "Feel good?" Harry asked, kissing down Louis' neck as he hit Louis' prostate.

Louis moaned around the toy, bucking down on Harry's finger. "More," he whined.

Harry complied, pushing in a second finger, scissoring Louis slowly. "You're so tight. Always so tight for me, Louis," Harry whispered against the curve of Louis' shoulder.

Louis whined, vibrator coming out of his mouth. "Ungh. I need this in me," he whined. He was always so vocal. "I love the stretch. Just, please."

Harry groaned, nodding, slipping his fingers out. He freed himself from his jeans and boxers, stroking his length slowly as he watched Louis with fiery eyes.

Louis eyed Harry's length hungrily. "Are we...?" he asked, gesturing to where Harry was jacking himself off. "Or," he waved the vibrator in the air.

Harry shook his head. "Wanna see you fuck yourself first. Want you to beg for me inside of you," Harry ordered, not losing his dominance from before.

Louis whimpered, nodding. He spit on it once more before bringing it down to his entrance. He slowly pushed it in, whining ad it filled him up.

Once it bottomed out, he gasped against Harry's still clothed shoulder. He thrust it in quickly, causing a gasp to escape his lips.

Harry ran his fingertips slowly down Louis' side to his back, knowing very well it drove Louis crazy. He got close to the vibrator, then pulled his hand away, only to get close again. With his other hand, he stroked himself even slower, wanting to make himself last for Louis.

Louis thrust it in and out quickly, gasping when it hit his prostate. He threw his head back and moaned, rocking down on the vibrator. He flicked it on and his whines were choked off, eyes rolling to the back of his head as it vibrated against his prostate.

Harry grabbed the vibrator, pressing it hard against Louis' prostate hard. When Louis looked like he was about to come, Harry pulled it out. "No, no. No coming until I say, baby," Harry warned, waggling his finger.

Louis whined and looked Harry with wide, lust filled eyes. His chest was heaving as he tried guiding the vibrator back to his entrance.

"C'mon," he whined, "I'm so close."

Harry smacked at Louis' hands. "No," Harry growled, slapping Louis' bum quickly. Harry teasingly rubbed the vibrator at Louis' entrance, turning it on a low buzz.

Louis whined, his eyes squeezing shut. "Please."

He spit in his hand beforr moving it Harry's length and pumping him quickly.

"Want you, need you," he begged, "Please Harry. You're so much bigger than any of my dildos."

Harry pretended to think it over, rubbing at his chin. It took all of his power not to thrust into Louis' hand.

"Okay, go on," Harry said, guiding Louis onto his dick slowly by the hip.

Louis turned off the vibrator onto the floor and lined up with Harry's length. His breath left his body as he slowly sunk on, whimpers leaving his mouth.

"Fuck," he moaned, circling his hips.

Harry groaned when Louis had sunk all the way down, instantly going to work. Harry kept a steady hand on Louis' hip, the other hand rubbing Louis on his back and neck.

Louis whined high in his throat, head dropping down onto Harry's shoulder. He scrambled for Harry's hand, lacing their fingers together.

Harry squeezed Louis' hand as he leaned down to kiss Louis slowly. It turned into a heated one, though, after a little bit.

"So tight, Louis," Harry whispered against his lips, biting onto Louis' lower lip.

Louis gasped and sat up, running a hand through his messy hair. He let out a quiet cry as he covered his mouth. "I'm sorry. It's just been so long since we've done this, and I feel emotional."

Harry nodded his head, thrusting up every time Louis dropped down. "You're okay. So beautiful. I love you so much," Harry said.

"L-love you too," Louis whined. He lifted himself up and dropped down quickly, setting up a quick place. He threw his head back and moaned loudly, eyes squeezing shut.

Harry stroked Louis slowly, smiling a little. "Gonna come?" Harry asked.

"Fuck yeah," Louis whined, stopping and adjusting to get Harry deeper. He leaned forward and tangled his fingers in Harry's curls, kissing him messily.

Harry kissed back, clawing at Louis' back. He thrust up into Louis, breathing growing a bit heavy.

Louis felt himself grow close, biting down hard on Harry's bottom lip. He reached down and started jacking himself off as he bounced up and down. He moaned into Harry's mouth as he spilled in between their chests.

Harry gasped and threw his head back as Louis tightened around him. "Fuck," Harry breathed as he came into Louis, biting his lip hard. He rode out his orgasm, groaning the whole time. "God, that was amazing."

Louis nodded quickly as he pulled off. He sighed and put his hands on his stomach. "Bug is happy now," he giggled.

Harry slapped Louis' arm. "No. Non. Nein. That's creepy, Louis!" Harry said, laughing a little.

Louis giggled, "I'm not the one who kept his clothes on the whole time!"

Harry looked down a this clothes, his shirt covered in cum and jeans wet with lube. He shrugged. "It's tiring and unnecessary," Harry reasoned.

"It's gonna forever to get the stains out!" Louis laughed, flicking Harry's nose.

Harry shrugged again, wrinkling his nose. "I didn't really like the shirt that much. And the pants will be okay," Harry said. He looked over at Louis, staring at him.

He had always thought Louis was beautiful, even before they had started dating. When Louis had first poured sand into his hair, Harry had looked up and saw the most beautiful boy. And from then on, Harry just knew that Louis was the most beautiful thing on the face of the earth.

Louis blushed under Harry's stare. "What?"

Harry smiled, chuckling a little. "I'm just so in love with you. You're so beautiful," Harry whispered. He reached out and ran his fingertips over Louis' cheeks. He cupped it, rubbing his thumb over his cheekbone.

Louis's cheeks reddened in color. "I love you too...handsome."

Harry chuckled, blushing, too. "You're such a dork," Harry said.

Louis giggled, bending down to gently kiss Harry before climbing off his lap. He grabbed the vibrator and his clothes before waddling into the bathroom.

He cleaned off the vibrator and threw the clothes into the hamper.

Harry pulled out his phone and tapped away at some game with jewels and animals. He listened for Louis to come back, humming as he deleted a row of jewels.

Louis took a quick shower before slipping on a fresh pair of boxers and sweats. He walked back into the living room and smiled at Harry.

He pointed at him and said one word, "Change."

Harry rolled his eyes, standing up slowly. He pushed off his jeans and boxers, throwing them over to the side. He, then, pulled off his shirt.

"I think I wanna stay like this," Harry announced, sitting back down on the couch.

"Get your bare arse off my couch and get dressed, or you won't get to touch my stomach ever again," Louis threatened, putting his hands on his stomach for emphasis.

Harry pouted, huffing and standing back up. He picked up his inhaler and walked to the bedroom. He got dressed as quickly as he could.

Louis smirked as he picked up the dirty clothing. He put them in the hamper before walking to the kitchen to start dinner.

When Harry had left the bedroom, he couldn't find Louis in the living room. So, he walked slowly towards the kitchen.

"Whatcha up to, Lou?" Harry asked.

"I really wanted lemonade," Louis replied, "So I'm making lemonade."

He grabbed the lemonade powder and the sugar before filling a container full of water. He then poured in some lemonade powder and sugar before mixing it together.

"Would you like some?" he asked as he stirred.

Harry nodded, looking into the mix. "Yeah, even though it looks like you added too much sugar, it looks good. I need something sweet," Harry said thoughtfully.

He smirked and then looked over at Louis. He licked Louis' cheeks and made a humming sound in content.

Louis blushed and finished mixing it together. "Ok you charmer, can you get out two glasses?"

Harry nodded again, grabbing some glasses and putting them down onto the countertop. "Anything else, my darling?" Harry asked, kissing Louis' forehead.

Louis rubbed the spit off his cheeks before smiling. "Can you get me a shirt? And possibly a jumper?" he asked, gazing up at Harry hopefully.

Harry smiled and kissed Louis' forehead again. He walked slowly over to the bedroom and grabbed a jumper of his and a thin shirt. He, then, walked back to the kitchen, where Louis was taking small sips of lemonade.

Louis smiled and set down his glass. He pulled the shirt on before the jumper, smiling as he practically swam in it. He picked the glass back up and hummed, smiling. "Perfect."

Harry blushed at the sight of Louis with sweater paws. He looked so fucking adorable, Harry had to push back the thoughts of wrecking him.

"You look cute, Louis," Harry said from over the rim of his drink.

Louis blushed and took another sip. "M'not cute." He giggled when Harry made a face after taking a sip of the lemonade.

"This is so sweet," Harry said, pulling a face. He placed the glass down, and poked Louis' side. "And don't you ever, ever say you're not cute," Harry said, pouting.

Louis pouted, "I think it's fine. And I'm not. Bug is. Not me."

Harry grabbed the glass from Louis and set it on the island. He, then, picked Louis up and placed him on the same counter. He went in between Louis legs, hands traveling up them.

"You're beautiful and adorable and just so utterly cute, I can't stop looking at you. You're my sunshine, and our baby is the stars. Both so bright," Harry said, placing one hand on Louis' stomach. The other was rubbing circles into Louis' left thigh.

Louis blushed and carded his hands through Harry's curls. "I love you," he said as he gently tugged on the chocolate colored locks.

Harry closed his eyes, leaning into the touch of Louis' fingertips. He opened the slowly, blinking them. He smiled. "I love you, too, darling," Harry whispered.

By the time Louis was five months pregnant, he had a large baby bump he always had his hands on. He didn't wanna know the gender, so he decided to paint the nursery a brown and have a border in the middle with monkeys and other jungle animals.

"Harry! The baby kicked!" Louis squealed, his hands on his stomach.

Harry looked up from his book, smiling. He breathed in deeply before standing up slowly, walking over to Louis. He dropped down to kneel on front of him, placing his hands on Louis' stomach.

"Think you can kick for your dad?" Harry asked, rubbing circles into the skin with his thumbs.

Louis smiled when the baby kicked again. "Bug can hear you," he said, tears filling his eyes. "They can hear their Daddy."

Harry smiled up at Louis, then looked at his stomach. "Hi, Baby Bug. Don't worry, we don't think you're an actual bug. You're just small like one. Beautiful little Baby Bug," Harry said, a wide smile on his face.

Louis sniffled as he ran a hand through Harry's hair. "Bug's wiggly now."

Harry laughed. "Bug loves me already. This is amazing," Harry breathed. He bit his lip as he placed his head on Louis' stomach. He felt something bump into his cheek, making him laugh. "Bug doesn't want to share. They're telling me to get out of their room."

Louis laughed wetly. "Of course they'll love their Daddy. And they're just like their Daddy, both of you don't like sharing."

Harry snorted, pressing a quick kiss to Louis' stomach. He breathed in deeply, coughing before standing up. He smiled at Louis and walked over to the couch, bringing Louis with him.

"I'll share with you now. I can share my body warmth and cuddle you and Bug," Harry said.

Louis smiled as they sat on the couch. Louis cuddled into Harry's chest. He felt Harry's hands move to his stomach, causing him to smile. He laced their fingers together after turning on the TV and choosing a random film to watch.

Harry pressed a kiss to Louis' head, rubbing circles into Louis' stomach with his thumb. He occasionally ran the nail over Louis' skin lightly, which gave Louis chills.

Louis smiled and turned to kiss Harry's jaw. "I love you," he said happily.

Harry looked down and smiled back. He pecked Louis on the lips. "I love you, too. So in love with you," Harry said.

Louis smiled before turning back to the screen.

"You know what I really want," Louis said suddenly, looking at Harry. "Your homemade quesadillas."

Harry chuckled. "Well, I have the ingredients for them. Want me to cook them up now?" Harry asked, pressing a kiss to Louis' cheek.

"Please," Louis smiled, sitting up as he sat up. He winced as he back throbbed in pain, but bit his bottom lip to hide it.

Harry stopped, feeling Louis tense beside him. "Hey, baby, are you okay?" Harry asked, rubbing Louis' thigh.

"Yeah. M'fine," Louis lied, smiling what he was hoping to be a reassuring smile at Harry. "Really."

Harry quirked an eyebrow before humming, unconvinced. "Louis William Tomlinson, what is wrong?" Harry asked, squeezing Louis' thigh.

Louis sighed in defeat. "My back hurts s'all. Carrying Bug hurts my back."

Harry nodded, pressing a quick kiss to Louis' cheek. "Do you want me to give you a massage? I wouldn't mind, I like giving you them," Harry said, already looking through their side table for the lotion.

"Ok," Louis said in a quiet voice. He took off his jumper and shirt, putting his hands on his stomach as he waited for Harry to start.

Harry turned Louis around a bit, kneeling behind him. He started to massage from Louis' shoulder blades. He rubbed the lotion in with featherlight fingertips. When the lotion was all on, he rubbed it in with the palms of his hands, relaxing the knots in Louis' shoulders.

Louis closed his eyes as he felt Harry's hands massage the knots out. He moaned quietly as Harry focused on a particularly large knot.

Harry ground into the spot as lightly as possible, wanting to get it out but not hurt Louis. "Feel good, baby?" Harry asked, pressing a kiss to Louis' neck. When he got all the knots out, he went lower, finding a tense spot in the middle of Louis' back.

Louis nodded, his head dropping down. "Right there. That's where it hurts the most."

Harry rubbed at the spot, adding some more lotion to his hands when it was needed. "Jesus, love, it's a really tight knot. What's Bug doing to you?" Harry asked, pressing kisses to Louis' shoulders so he'd calm down.

"I don't know," Louis replied, wincing when Harry put too much pressure on it. "Careful."

Harry hummed in acknowledgement, rubbing at the spot softer. "Is this better?" Harry asked.

"Yeah. It's feeling a lot better," Louis said, his thumb rubbing small circles on his stomach.

Harry smiled, kissing down Louis' back and up again, across his shoulders and on his neck. "I love your back. So smooth," Harry muttered, finally getting the tight knot out and moving on to get the smaller, loose ones out.

Louis snickered, "Unlike yours which is full of moles and pimples."

Harry smacked Louis' shoulder. "Shush, you," Harry said, blushing.

Louis smiled and moaned quietly as Harry finished. "Feels so much better," he said as he stretched. "Thanks Haz. Now go make Bug and I quesadillas."

Harry winked at Louis before kissing him quickly. He stood up and walked to the kitchen, grabbing his inhaler. He started to cook up some quesadillas.

Louis smiled and laid down on the couch. He wrapped the quilt on the back of the couch tight around him, smiling in contentment.

Harry finished up the quesadillas, putting some pickles and sour cream next to it for Louis and just sour cream for him. "Babe, dinner's ready. Want me to bring it to you?"

"Mmm...yes," he said as he sat up. "Don't forget the pickle!"

Harry snorted. "Like I would forget the pickles after last time!" Harry yelled back. He walked out and handed Louis his plate.

Harry snorted. "Like I would forget the pickles after last time!" Harry yelled back. He walked out and handed Louis his plate.

Louis giggled as he detangled himself from the quilt. He quickly ate the pickle before starting on the quesadillas.

Harry ate slowly, dipping his quesadillas in a bunch of sour cream, making Louis wince. "You like sour cream, too, you dunce," Harry said.

"Not as much as you," Louis said, quirking an eyebrow at Harry.

Harry narrowed his eyes at Louis, sticking out his tongue. "I like sour cream a lot a lot a lot a lot. So hush," Harry said.

Louis rolled his eyes as he quickly finished eating. "Yummy," he said, sour cream all around his mouth.

Harry snorted, bring Louis close for a kiss. He licked at the sour cream on Louis' lips, and then pulled back to wipe at the rest with a napkin. "How can a man be this messy?" Harry asked, laughing.

Louis giggled as he let Harry clean him off. "Bug and I are still hungry," he said with a small pout.

Harry quirked an eyebrow. "What are you and Bug hungry for, then?" Harry asked, putting the napkin down, along with his and Louis' plates.

"Mmm...cookie dough ice cream!" Louis decided, smiling.

Harry sighed. "Okay, babe. Anything for my love and Bug," Harry said, standing up. He looked inside the freezer after he put away the plates. He frowned when he saw only vanilla and chocolate ice cream. He grabbed the vanilla and some cookie dough from the cabinet, crumbling some pieces into the ice cream, hoping Louis wouldn't notice.

When Harry re-emerged, Louis was blankly watching TV. He smiled up at Harry and smiled. He pouted when he looked in the bowl.

"This isn't cookie dough..."

Harry sighed. "The cookie dough is all gone because you ate it all. So I had to be creative," Harry said, putting a spoon into the bowl.

Louis sighed, "I guess I'll eat it..."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Well, I don't know what you expect me to do," Harry said, trying to control his temper.

"It's fine...I guess," Louis said as he played with his spoon.

Harry scoffed and sat down away from Louis. "Jesus, Louis, if you're not happy I can just go to the store. I'll bring my oxygen," Harry said, crossing his arms.

"I said it's fine," Louis snapped, putting his bowl on the coffee table and walking into the bedroom, closing and locking the door before snuggling under the covers on his bed.

Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He knew he shouldn't have snapped at Louis at all, but he was being demanding. There wasn't much Harry could do right now. The cancer was getting worse and so was he. The doctors were starting to say he walked around too much. That he'll have to start using oxygen every single day, every moment of it.

But Harry's motto was deal with it. Just deal with it because there's nothing you can change.

So, Harry stood up and walked over to the bedroom, taking a bobby pin with him to pick the lock.

Louis snuggled under the covers and closed his eyes. He was about to fall asleep as he heard the doorknob turn.

Harry picked the lock and walked into the room. He plopped onto the bed immediately and cuddled up behind Louis, pressing so close his crotch was against Louis. "I'm sorry," Harry whispered, breathing a bit heavily, but pushing it down.

"It's fine," Louis replied, "I'm sorry too."

They lay there awhile, ice cream more like soup by this point.

"Harry I'm scared," Louis whispered all of a sudden.

Harry brought Louis closer. "You don't have to be scared. I'll always be right here to protect you," Harry whispered back.

"That's the thing," Louis said, hiccuping as tears filled his eyes. "You won't /be/ here for much longer. You won't be able to watch Bug grow up. I don't want you to die."

Harry buried his face into Louis' neck. "There's still a chance I'll live, no matter how slim it is. And I'll _always_  be here for you. I promise to look over you and bug. I'll be your guardian angel," Harry muttered, kissing Louis' neck.

Louis started sobbing as he buried his face into a nearby pillow. "B-b-bug-g r-r-resp-ponds-s t-t-to your-r v-v-voi-ice-e."

Harry placed his hand on Louis' stomach. "Hey, Baby Bug. Listen to me. You convince daddy that I'll always be here. For the both of you. I may not be here physically. But I'll always be watching," Harry said, voice cracking.

"N-no," Louis cried, "Y-you-u're D-Dad-dd-dy-y."

Harry sniffled and burrowed himself deeper. "I want Bug to be able to call someone daddy though. So you're Daddy," Harry whispered, tears falling down his cheeks slowly.

"No!" Louis cried loudly. "N-no on-ne b-but y-you-u is Dad-ddy!"

Harry shook his head. "Y-you're Daddy," Harry whispered, sniffling. "I want to be Dad."

"I just want you healthy again," Louis said quietly, hand moving to his baby bump. "Both Bug and I."

Harry sniffled, crying harder. "I want to be healthy for you and Bug. I don't want to die. I just deal with it because I don't want to see you hurting too. I deal with it because my life is going to be short. I can't just sit here doing nothing," Harry said, sighing.

Louis cried harder. "I wish I wasn't pregnant. Then you would've feel sad leaving me raising a baby by myself."

Harry's head snapped up. "No. This...this baby is one of the only things keeping me strong right now. You and Bug. Not even my mum could keep me strong like you two can. Don't try to take that away from me, Louis."

Louis sniffled. "But Bug won't ever meet you," he said in a small voice.

Harry rubbed Louis' stomach. "You don't know that. You know damn well I'll fight for as long as I can," Harry said, kissing up and down Louis' neck. "I'm fighting to stay for the both of you."

Louis sniffled as he turned around in Harry's arms. He stared up at Harry with wide, watery eyes before snuggling into Harry's chest as best he could with Bug in between them.

Harry held Louis as close as he could, pressing kisses to his face and hair. "I'm so in love with you, baby. You're so beautiful," Harry whispered.

Louis blushed and stared up at Harry, smiling. "I love you too."

Harry smiled back, leaning down slowly to bring Louis into a soft, loving kiss.

Louis smiled against Harry's lips, moving them slowly against Harry's.

Harry held Louis close, closing his eyes and pressing closer. He placed his hands on Louis' waist, holding him steady.

Louis giggled when Harry tried pulling them closer, only to have his baby belly get in the way. "We don't wanna squish this Bug."

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. "Never wanna squish Bug," Harry cooed, scooting down the bed to be facing Louis' belly. He blew a raspberry into Louis' skin, causing Louis and the baby to squirm.

Louis giggled, "That tickles, and Bug agrees. They're all wiggly."

Harry laughed, kissing Louis' tummy. "Aw, Bug, what do you want from your Dad?" Harry asked, placing his hand on Louis' stomach.

Louis smiled as Bug wiggled again, kicking and hitting Harry's hand.

Harry chuckled, kissing Louis' stomach again. "Aw, you like kisses from your Dad!" Harry said, peppering more kisses around Louis' tummy.

Louis smiled fondly as he ran a hand through Harry's hair. "Bug loves you."

Harry smiled back. "Bug also loves his Daddy," Harry said, pressing one final kiss to Louis' stomach.

"What gender do you want it to be? I'm hoping for a girl," Louis said as he rubbed his stomach.

Harry scooted back up to Louis, kissing him quickly. "I secretly want a girl, too," Harry whispered into Louis' ear.

"But if Bug happens to be a boy, I'm happy with that too," Louis smiled.

Harry nodded, pressing another kiss to Louis' lips. "I'm happy with both," Harry said. He hummed before pressing another kiss to Louis' lips. "I'm very kissy today."

Louis giggled, kissing Harry back. "I can tell, and I don't mind at all."

Harry chuckled and kissed Louis again, deepening the kiss almost immediately.

Louis hummed against Harry's lip, moving them slowly against his.

Harry licked into Louis' mouth slowly, cupping Louis' face.

Louis smiled and pulled Harry on top of him. He gripped tightly onto Harry's shirt, letting Harry control the kiss.

Harry, minding the baby bump, leaned down to kiss Louis harder. He pinned Louis' hands down with one hand, the other still cupping Louis' cheek.

Louis moaned quietly against Harry's lips, leaning into his touch.

Harry pulled off, pressing quick kisses to Louis' cheek and under his jaw. As he was sucking a bite into Louis' neck, he asked, "Do you want to...?"

Louis nodded. "Will you be ok?" he asked breathlessly.

Harry nodded, grinding down quickly, gasping a little. "Oh, yeah, definitely," Harry said, mouthing at Louis' collarbones.

Louis moaned, hands gripping onto Harry's as his hips bucked up. "Harry," he moaned.

Harry let go of Louis' hands and threaded their fingers together as he started to grind against Louis, kissing him hotly.

Louis whined against Harry's mouth, legs moving to wrap around Harry's waist.

Harry panted into Louis' mouth, sucking on his bottom lip quickly. "You want me to fuck you, baby?" Harry asked, running his hands down Louis' sides.

Louis nodded quickly. "Please, please, oh please," he begged, his dick straining against his sweatpants.

Harry nodded, pulling off his shirt. He, then, kissed down Louis' chest and down his stomach. He mouthed over Louis' straining length, sucking at the head through the sweatpants material.

Louis whined and threw his head back, hips bucking up. "Fuck, Harry."

Harry smirked, pulling down the sweatpants. He smiled when he saw that Louis was wearing no boxers.

"It's like you wanted to be fucked, baby," Harry purred, licking the underside of Louis' dick.

Louis panted as he moved his hands to grip on the handrails on the bed. He panted and whined as he squeezed his eyes shut.

Harry chuckled, licking down until he reached Louis' entrance. "Think you can bend your legs enough I can eat you out, babe?" Harry asked.

"I-I dunno," Louis said, opening his eyes. He grabbed the back of his legs and whined when they didn't go up as far as usual. "Bug is getting in the way of me getting rimmed."

Harry hummed in thought. "Wanna ride my face?" Harry asked, crawling up Louis' body. "We can 69 if you wish."

"I'm fat," Louis whined, trying to bring his legs closer to his chest. "Can you try like this?"

Harry hummed again, crawling back down and smirking. He licked a stripe up Louis' entrance. "I don't know, can I?"

Louis whined, "Yes, yes you can. _Fuck_."

Harry chuckled before going to work, kitten licking at Louis' rim, pointing his tongue occasionally to stick it in.

"Harry. _C'mon_ ," Louis whined, gripping tightly onto his legs.  
Harry rolled his eyes, sucking on Louis' rim once more before sucking on his ring finger. He pushed it in quickly, chuckling a little at Louis' pleasurable hiss.

Louis moaned as the grip on his legs tightened, fingers going white. "Fu-uck."

Harry smirked, licking around his finger as he fucked Louis with it. "Feel good, Louis?" Harry asked, gripping Louis' right cheek as he did so.

Louis nodded quickly. "Yes Harry, feels so good," he moaned out as Harry slipped in a second finger.

Harry scissored Louis quickly, kissing at his thighs as he did so. He kissed up until he reached Louis' naval, and then back down again. "Ready for a third?" Harry asked after a bit.

"Yes," Louis replied quickly. "Harry please."

Harry nodded, pushing in a third finger. He fingered Louis slowly, teasing him.

Louis whined into the pillow beneath him. "Fuck. Harry "

"Yes. Only it's fuck Louis, not me," Harry said, pulling his fingers out and lathering his length with spit.

Louis would laugh if he wasn't gagging to be fucked. He wiggled his hips, impatient.

Harry chuckled, pinning Louis' hips to the bed. "Calm yourself, love," Harry said, placing the head of his dick at Louis' entrance. He pushed in slowly, bottoming out and sitting there for Louis to get used to the stretch. And for him to catch his breath, since the tightness of Louis left him gasping.

Louis whined as Harry bottomed out. "Fuck," he moaned, "Feel so fucking good."

Harry smiled, chuckling a little. He leaned down, taking some breaths. He, then, pulled out until the tip, pushing back in after.

Louis moaned at the friction. He wiggled his hips so Harry would hurry up. Or find his prostate. Either one was ok with him.

"Stop moving so much," Harry hissed, leaning over some so he could hit Louis' prostate dead on.

"I'm sorry," Louis whined, throwing his back and moaning loudly.

Harry growled, going faster. "Wish I could punish you. For being so naughty. If you weren't pregnant, I'd have to strapped to the bed while I spank you," Harry groaned.

Louis moaned high in his throat, hands moved to the bed posts above his head. He gripped them tightly, moans spilling from his lips.

Harry fucked into Louis deep and fast, hitting his prostate almost every single time. He felt his chest tightened slightly, but he took in deep breaths, going faster.

Louis opened his eyes and noticed Harry gasping for air.

"Harry," he panted, "Harry, babe, stop if you need to breathe."

Harry shook his head, breathing in deeply. "I'm fine, want a finish. Almost done," Harry promised, grabbing onto Louis' dick and stroking him with the thrusts.

Louis moaned loudly, unashamed, and squeezed his eyes shut. He came suddenly, spilling onto his stomach.

Harry panted into Louis' neck, coming soon after. He sat for a moment, letting his orgasm leave. He pulled out slowly, laying on his back after and putting his arms over his head as he tried to catch his breath.

"Do you need your oxygen, babe?" Louis asked as he caught his breath.

Harry nodded, coughing into his fist. "Hurry," Harry croaked, coughing harder.

Louis nodded and got out of bed as quick as he could. He ran to the other side of the bed and grabbed the oxygen tank nearby. He put the oxygen mask over Harry's mouth and ran a hand through Harry's curls in an attempt to calm both of them down.

Harry grabbed Louis' shaking hand with one his and stroked it slowly. "I'll be...okay...don't worry...okay?" Harry reassured through gasps of air.

Louis swallowed around a lump in his throat. He nodded and felt his hand shake in Harry's. "That was a bad idea. God. If I knew how you would be gasping for air this badly, I wouldn't have pushed it."

Harry shook his head, chuckling. "Louis, no. I wanted to have sex with you like a normal couple. Because we are a normal couple. I'm fine, just lost my breath for a moment there," Harry argued lightly.

"I'm sorry," Louis whispered, leaving Harry to hold the oxygen mask. "I'm just scared about everything. I'm just so fucking scared to lose you."

Harry sat up, shaking his head. "Nothing is going to kill me anytime soon. I'm a tough cookie, Louis. Most people with my type if cancer don't live this long. So I am /not/ going to leave you or Bug anytime soon," Harry promised.

"My grandpa had lung cancer," Louis said, "Did you know that? He got it removed or something, but he died because he gave up. Left my dad, his two brothers, and his sister with just their mum. It was before I was born, but I think about it a lot. My dad said it was one of the few times he's ever cried."

Harry gripped onto Louis' hand. "I promise that I won't give up on you. I'm sure your grandpa was a good man. But I won't give up like he did. I have a family to take care of. A long life to live," Harry said.

"But so did he," Louis said quietly, "He left four children behind. One of which was still a young kid. I don't...I don't want you to die because you gave up. You promised me when you found out you'd stay strong. Please stay strong Harry. Bug and I need you."

Harry breathed in deeply, squeezing Louis' hand. "I'll stay strong until the day I die. And I'll die when I'm ready to. When I'm ninety and need my diaper changed," Harry half-joked.

Louis laughed wetly. "Ok. Have you thought about, ya know, chemo?"

Harry nodded, biting his lip. "The doctor said it's a last minute kind of thing. That I don't need it. It'll make me worse if I took it now. So. If it gets any worse, I'll take it then."

Louis nodded and leaned into Harry's chest. "Are you done with the oxygen tank?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, but if I'm going to sleep now, I need my nose nozzle. Doctors orders," Harry said.

Louis nodded and stood up. He quickly helped Harry with his nose nozzles before handing him a pair of boxers. Louis got dressed in his own boxers and one of Harry's jumped before climbing in bed.

"Didn't we have ice cream out?"

Harry dragged the oxygen tank behind him, snuffling a little. A nine month, just-about-to-pop, pregnant Louis was waddling in front of him, trying to get some food together.

"Louis William Tomlinson, I am perfectly capable of making my own sandwich. Just because I was prescribed on all-day oxygen doesn't mean I need you to be my slave," Harry protested as Louis pulled out some jelly, look of perseverance on his face.

Louis smiled lightly. "I wanna help. I love you. And I it won't be Tomlinson for long. I called the local courthouse and the judge there said he'd be willing to marry us."

Harry just about snorted the tubing out of his nose. "Excuse me? Y-you called the courthouse? After I told you not to? Louis William T-" Harry growled when Louis looked at him, "Styles, I am going to ruin you when Bug is out." Harry  growled again. "I mean. I just wanted to call and set it up and make it a surprise and all."

Louis chuckled, "Sorry. I was getting impatient. I've had this ring on my finger for nine months."

Harry blew a raspberry in Louis' direction. "Some people stay engaged for three years, so. Meh on you," Harry said, snatching the sandwich from Louis and taking a massive bite from it. He totally didn't almost choke either. Not at all.

Louis stayed quiet as he made his own sandwich. "Well we might not have three years," he mumbled.

Harry definitely did choke on his sandwich. After he was done coughing (with a couple hits to his back courtesy of Louis) he shook his head. "Louis, the doctors are saying I'm getting better. I'm going to make it three years and I'm gonna make five to ten to forty. I'm not going anywhere," Harry said.

Louis nodded as he finished making his sandwich, eating quietly. "Aren't you scheduled to start chemo soon?"

Harry sighed nodding. "Yeah. But it's to make sure the tumor in my lung can be knocked out easily. I'll be fine, Louis, promise," Harry said.

Louis nodded, "When's my C-section scheduled for? Isn't it next Tuesday?"

Harry widened his eyes. "Shit. Shit. Shit shit shit shit, is it?" Harry asked, running over to the calendar. "Fucking shit. Chemo is on Tuesday. No, no. I can't reschedule and there's no way in hell you can!"

"I can try to get it pushed to Wednesday? If not, we can always go in this weekend. What's today? Thursday?" Louis asked, putting his hands on his large baby belly.

Harry shook his head. "Louis, do you know how many people get c-sections now? Tons. I...I can see if I can have my chemo done in the same room as your c-section," Harry offered.

Louis shook his head. "Harry, I want you to be there when Bug is born. What are we gonna do? Neither of us can reschedule..."

Harry sighed. "I'll talk to the hospital now. Ask to see if there is any possible way my chemo can be done in your room. If not, we're screwed," Harry said, picking up the phone and dialing up his doctor's number.

Louis nodded before waddling into the next room. He remembered telling Harry that he doesn't waddle, he walks with pregnancy swag.

He also remembered when Harry had just laughed at him.

As he walked to clean up the dirty dishes on the coffee table, he felt a large rush of water soak his boxers and jeans.

"Fuck. Harry!"

Harry quirked an eyebrow, telling his chemotherapist he'd have to call him back. He hung up the phone and walked into the living room. His eyes widened when he saw how much liquid was on Louis' pants and on the floor.

"Please tell me you just wet yourself, Louis," Harry whined, already turning to grab the overnight bags they'd packed just in case this would've happened.

"No, you fucking arsehole, my water just broke," Louis snapped as he felt his first contraction hit him. "Fuck."

Harry growled and went into the bedroom and grabbed the bags. "I am not going to be one of those guys who freak out. You're an arsehole and I hate you already," Harry groaned, helping Louis up and to the car.

"God, I fucking hate you," Louis whined, "Had to fucking knock me up."

Harry stuck his tongue out. "You wanted to be fucked just as bad as I wanted to fuck you, you're facing the consequences just like I am. You're going through a bunch of physical pain and I'm going through mental pain listening to you moan and groan. Now into the car and to the hospital," Harry said.

Louis sighed as the contraction passed. "Harry, babe, can you help me?" he asked, trying to sound nice despite the situation.

Harry smiled and helped Louis into the car, not caring about him wetting the seats.

"Now," Harry said, putting his oxygen tank into the back and extending his cord and placing the tank between the two bags, "let's go to the hospital."

Louis nodded, taking a deep breath. "Let's go have a baby," he said, smiling.

Harry chuckled and nodded. "Ain't this a great coincidence. I swear to God, if anything stops me from seeing my baby being born, I'll kill someone," Harry threatened.

Louis chuckled. "I'm so glad you get to see Bug being born," he said, smiling. Until a thought hit him. "Harry? Did you call the hospital to tell them to prep for surgery?"

Harry's eyes widened. "Shitty bird on a fucking pogo stick, I forgot!" Harry said, grabbing his cell phone from his pocket and dialing up the hospital. "What do I tell them?" Harry asked when a lady answered.

"Tell them, ah fuck," he said as another contraction hit. "Tell them to tell, _shit_ , Dr. Smith I'm in labor."

"Okay, okay," Harry said, cleaning his throat. "Hi, um, this is Harry Styles. My fiancé, Louis Tomlinson, is going into labor. Can you please tell this to Dr.Smith?"

By the time the contraction passed, Harry had pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. He turned to Harry with a hopeful glint in his eyes. "Can you help me out? Your car's a bit small for a pregnant man to get in and out of."

Harry nodded. "Let me go get a wheelchair first," Harry said, parking in a handicapped space and putting up his sign. He then got out with his tank and hurried to achieve a wheelchair. He helped Louis out of the car, then, wheeled Louis into the emergency room.

Louis put his hands on his baby bump, chuckling lightly. "You can slow down, Haz. My contractions aren't in a rush-worthy amount of time."

Harry shook his head. "You don't know that! Maybe, maybe, maybe. I don't know! Fuck, now I'm freaking out! It's the hospital! The hospital!" Harry cried out, walking up to the reception desk.

Louis rolled his eyes as he waited for Harry. He watched as Harry talked to the lady; he smirked as Harry freaked out. Another contraction hit, and he cried out in pain.

Harry turned away from the lady mid sentence and rushed over to Louis. He stroked Louis' hair and cheek. "Are you okay? Are you okay? Just breathe! Breathe like...like...how the fuck do you breathe?!"

"In and out, you fucking idiot!" Louis snapped, squeezing Harry's hand. "God, why the fuck didn't we use a condom?"

Harry started to breath in deeply. The lady was looking at them with amusement. "First kid?" she asked, laughing a little. Harry nodded. "Yeah, I can tell." She winked, then called or Dr. Smith.

When Dr. Smith had finally come out, Harry was desperately trying to free his hand from Louis' death grip.

After Louis's contraction passed, he quickly released Harry's hand. "Sorry," he mumbled, blushing.

Harry shook his head, laughing nervously. "Nope, it's fine. I totally like the feeling of my fingers breaking. Totes ma goats," Harry said, shaking his hand.

Louis giggled quietly as he was rolled to the surgery prep room.

"How far apart are your contractions?" Dr. Smith asked as he rolled Louis down the hallway.

"About five minutes. They haven't been very far apart," Louis replied, "Right Harry?"

Harry shook his head, gulping down the lump in his throat.

"And you're the father?" Dr. Smith asked, pointing at Harry.   
Harry nodded, letting out a shaky breath.

"I'm the father too," Louis spoke up, pouting. "I just carried the baby."

Dr. Smith chuckled quietly as he helped Louis onto the bed. He turned to Harry and gave him a smile. "Don't worry son, all first time dads are the same until they hold their baby for the first time."

Harry laughed humorlessly, and a bit manically. "Okay. Yeah. Okay. My baby, is coming out. Of Louis. A baby," Harry said, tears coming in his eyes. "A baby, Louis!"

Dr. Smith chuckled and grabbed a gown.

Harry wiped at the tears. "Sorry, I'm as emotional as Louis is now," Harry said, snorting when Louis hit him.

"Oi!" Louis laughed, "Tosser! You've been just as emotional as I have been throughout this whole thing!"

Dr. Smith smiled and handed the gown to Louis. "Put this on. You," he said, pointing to Harry. "Need to change into these." He handed Harry a pair of mint green scrubs and shoved him out the door.

Louis quickly changed once Dr. Smith left the room. After getting comfortable in the bed again, he sobbed tearlessly as another contraction hit.

When Harry was all done getting dressed, he walked into the eyes widening when he saw Louis in pain.

"Oh, baby. Are you okay? Breathe in like this," Harry said, demonstrating what a nurse was doing with a different patient.

"Of course I'm not fucking ok. A fucking baby is gonna come out soon," Louis snapped and did what Harry instructed.

Harry whined as Louis squeezed his hand, fingers turning red and white. "Louis, just calm down," Harry soothed, running a hand through Louis' hair.

"Shut the fuck up, you're being fucking annoying," Louis said as he focused on his breathing, gripping Harry's hand tightly. "I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean that," he said once the contraction passed not long after.

Harry shook his head, leaning down to kiss Louis. "You're okay, babe. I understand," Harry murmured, laughing a little. "Do you remember when Mum had the twins? Now _that_  was torture!"

Louis chuckled quietly. "Yeah, that was awful. Have you called either of our parents yet? And when am I gonna have my C-section? I wanna meet Bug."

Harry sighed, pulling out his cell phone. He shot quick texts to everyone, then smiled at Louis. "All done. Don't feel like calling. And Dr. Smith said in about an hour."

Louis groaned, "I have to go through an hour more of labor? More fucking contractions?"

Harry shrugged, sighing. "I think he's gonna give you something to help the pain. And then he's going to put you in surgery," Harry said, threading his fingers with Louis'.

Louis nodded, rubbing his hand over the swell of his stomach. "I'm ready to meet you little Bug," he said to his stomach. "Dad and I are. We've got your room all ready. All your aunts and uncles, and grandmas and grandpas are excited to meet you."

Harry smiled down at his Louis and squeezed Louis' hand lightly. "Buggy, we're gonna see your beautiful face soon. And you can see mine and Daddy's okay faces," Harry said, hissing out and laughing when Louis elbowed him in the side.

"Daddy's face is ok, but Dad's is gorgeous," Louis said, "Hopefully you get Dad's looks, but Daddy's intelligence."

Harry scoffed. "I was gonna say you're beautiful, but no! Then you had to go and insult me. So nope. Nope, nope," Harry said, trying to keep a smile off his face.

Louis giggled and smiled up at Harry. "You know I love you. And how am I insulting you? I saw you're gorgeous, and all you tale out of it is that I'm hoping Bug gets my intelligence? You have selective hearing, my dear finacé."

"You should have selective mutism, because I really want you to shut up," Harry joked, pressing a kiss to Louis' forehead.

Louis's bottom lip wobbled as he turned away from Harry. "Ok," he said quietly.

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes. "Louis," he sing-sung high-pitched, poking at Louis' side. When Louis did nothing, Harry nosed at Louis' neck and pressed a kiss there. "Louis," Harry whispered, running his fingertips over Louis' arm.

Louis tried not to laugh, so he bit his bottom lip roughly. He rubbed his stomach, sighing as he stared out a nearby window. "You said you wanted me to shut up, so."

Harry pouted. "Louis, don't shut up. I love your voice. And your singing. And your face. And your smarts. And your body. Everything," Harry said, pressing a kiss to Louis' cheek.

Louis blushed and turned and looked at Harry. "I love you, and I hope we can have another baby. As much pain as I'm in right now, and throughout the whole pregnancy, it's worth it. It really is."

Harry smiled before leaning over, pressing a kiss to Louis' lips. "I want to have fifty kids with you if I can. I love you so much, and seeing you carry my baby just makes me love you more."

Harry held Louis' hands, running his thumbs over the skin there.

"Also, I kind of like wearing these scrubs," Harry said.

Louis laughed, "You're so weird. Is this some fetish of yours? If so, don't expect me to wanna have sex with you after you wear them."

Harry scoffed. "Yes. I've always wanted to fuck you while you call me Dr. Styles," Harry said, winking, only slightly joking.

Louis snorted. "Kinky bastard. Can you turn on the TV? I wanna watch a film while we're waiting for my C-section?" he asked, rubbing circles into his stomach.  
Harry shrugged and grabbed the remote from the table, turning in the TV. "Now. What would you like to watch? There's What to Expect When You're Expecting!"

Louis quirked an eyebore at Harry. "Really? Are you being ser- oh fuck," he said, interrupting himself as another contraction hit.

Harry put down the remote and walked over to Louis. "Just breathe like I showed to I before, it'll help with the pain," Harry said, grabbing Louis' hands.

"No reason to do that, I have an epidural for Louis," Dr. Smith said, walking into the room.

"Oh thank god," Louis sobbed, "Oh my god, why the fuck are we having children? God Harry, I fucking hate you."

Dr. Smith laughed as Harry looked lost for words. "He doesn't actually hate you. The mix of hormones and the pain sets him off," Dr. Smith said.

"I know," Harry mumbled, pouting.

"Shut the fuck up. God. You're so fucking annoying," Louis snapped as he squeezed Harry's hand tightly.

Dr. Smith snorted. "I've been called much worse, darling. You should meet the first time moms. They're nuts," he said, helping Louis sit up and put the needle into his spine.

Harry winced. "Doesn't that hurt?" Harry asked.

Louis sobbed as the needle was poked into his spine. Once Dr. Smith pulled back, it took a bit until it kicked it.

"No, it feels fucking good. I'd rather have the needle than the fucking painful contractions that come every five fucking minutes," Louis replied, letting go of Harry's hand.

Smith helped Louis lay back down and smiled. "You'll still feel a dull pain, but it'll feel more like cramps than what you've been feeling," Smith said.

Harry kissed Louis' cheek. "Are you gonna be okay?" Harry asked.

Louis nodded. "Feels a lot better already. How much longer until my C-section?" he asked Dr. Smith. "I'd like not to be in labor anymore," he chuckled.

Dr. Smith looked at the clock, and sighed. "Um. We're going to first need to shave your abdomen and then we're gonna wash up your surgery area and then we'll bring you to the surgery room," he replied.

Harry smiled wide. "Oh my god, Louis! That'll take, like, fifteen minutes! We're gonna have a baby in fifteen minutes!"

Louis grinned, "I can't wait. Can we start now?"

Dr. Smith laughed as he flicked off the TV. "That's why I came in here anyway."

They were lead to another room where Louis laid in the middle of the room. Harry was given a mask and some gloves, while nurses and Dr. Smith milled about.

"I'm nervous, but excited," Louis said, smiling up at Harry.

Harry smiled back. "I'm so, so happy right now," Harry said, kissing Louis' hand. "I'm so in love with you."

As the nurses and doctors finished up, Harry worked on breathing correctly, standing his oxygen up so he could easily look at Louis.

Louis smiled up at Harry as a sheet was put just above the curve of Louis's stomach. He felt his robe move before his stomach was being washed. Louis reached up for Harry's hand, smiling as Harry laced their fingers together.

"You'll have to lay very still Mr. Tomlinson. We don't want anything bad to happen," one of the nurses said.

Louis nodded and laid still, wincing as another needle pierced his skin.

"Just some numbing stuff. You probably don't wanna feel your stomach being cut into," Dr. Smith said.

Louis breathed out before staring up at Harry.

Harry smiled nervously down at Louis. He squeezed Louis' hand, kissing it again. "You're gonna be okay. Everything is going to go great," Harry whispered, running his thumb over Louis' knuckles.

Dr. Smith started then, cutting on a guided line into Louis' tummy and continued on with the cesarean section.

Louis focused on Harry the entire time, trying to lay still and keep his breathing even.

"I love you," he whispered up to Harry.

Harry smiled, chuckling a little. "I love you, too," Harry said, taking a deep breath through the nose tube.

It was then that he heard a choked cry. His breath hitched and he looked over. Dr. Smith was holding a beautiful baby in his arms as nurses went to work cleaning them up. Harry felt tears come to his eyes, gasping a bit.

"It's a girl!" Dr. Smith announced as one nurse made up some paperwork and the rest continued to clean the baby.

Louis started crying as he heard his daughter cry for the first time. They placed the pink bundle in his arms for the first time and he couldn't stop smiling.

"Grace," he whispered, "She looks like a Grace."

Harry grinned as he pressed a quick kiss to Louis' forehead. "Our little Grace. Grace Mae Styles, yeah?" Harry asked, chucking nervously.

"It's perfect," he said, smiling up at Harry. "Our perfect little Bug."

When Grace had turned five and the tumor had long been removed from Harry's lung, Louis and Harry thought everything was going to be okay. Until Harry woke up with pneumonia and coughed up some blood into his hands.

The doctors told him that the cancer was back and had filled his lungs with thick mucus that would be too dangerous to get out. It was like cystic fibrosis, the doctors said, only a lot more fatal.

Harry was told he only had a year maximum left to live. Minimum was three months.

When Grace was one, Louis and Harry decided to elope. Their witnesses were Eleanor and Perrie, their two closest friends.

The house the bought a few years prior was quiet, even the small toddler was playing quietly with her Barbie dolls in her playroom. Louis swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat as he chopped carrots in the kitchen. He glanced quickly at the shopping bag on the counter before looking at Harry in the living room.

He turned the burner on low before quickly grabbing the box in the plastic shopping bag and hurrying into the bathroom.

Harry was sitting on the couch, watching TV as air was being pumped into lungs through a machine. It was his only chance of living longer than three months. He heard the bathroom door slam shut, which made him raise an eyebrow.

"Louis?" Harry called out, sniffing softly, smelling the food cooking. "Lovebug!"

Grace ran into the living room from her room. "Yes, Dad?" Grace asked, panting and smiling like only a child can.

Her dark green eyes darted around the room, and into the kitchen.

"Where's Daddy?" she asked, moving to climb on to Harry's lap.

"I think he went into the bathroom," Harry answered, poking at Grace's cheek, causing her to smile what Harry called a 'Louis smile'.

Louis's hands shook as he sat on the lid of the toilet. He let out a quiet sob as he covered his mouth with his hand. The stick in his left hand couldn't be read from how much he was shaking. This couldn't be true, this couldn't be happening.

When Harry smelt food starting to burn and no Louis for ten minutes, he decided to get up and investigate. He walked to the oven and turned it off, then carried his machine with him to the bathroom. He knocked on the door.

"Louis? Can I come in?" Harry asked, worried when he suddenly heard a sobbing.

"Y-y-yea-ah-h," Louis said through his tears.

When he saw Harry enter, he immediately thrust the pregnancy test into his hands before burying his face in his own.

Harry stared at the positive pregnancy test, his hands shaking.

"Th-that's impossible. We...we haven't...we've been using condoms! How is this...?" Harry was looking at the test with blurry eyes.

This was definitely something he couldn't just deal with. His husband was pregnant with another baby. And all could run through Harry's head was what if they are twins, triplets. What if he can't live that long. What will happen to his family.

"I don't know," Louis croaked out. "Maybe one of them broke. I've been throwing up a lot lately and I thought...I was hoping I caught some sort of stomach bug, but I picked up the box of pregnancy tests just to see. I didn't know Harry. I'm so fucking scared right now." Louis's voice broke and he started sobbing louder, probably catching the attention of their five year old daughter watching cartoons in the living room.

Grace walked up into the bathroom. "Daddy, why are you crying?" Grace asked, tears instantly coming into her eyes. Harry picked Grace up, minding his tubing, and held her close.

"You're gonna have a baby brother or sister. And your Daddy is scared," Harry answered the best he could.

Grace looked at Louis and then Harry. "Why? Is my brother or sister going to be a monster?" Grace asked.

Harry sighed. "You remember what Daddy and Dad told you after I went to the hospital and had to get the 'leaf blower' put into my lungs?"

Grace nodded.

"Well, he's scared because Dad might go into the sky before your brother or sister is born," Harry said, making Grace gasp.

"But I don't want you to go into the sky yet! I have my dance-y rose recital tomorrow! And I want you to see Junebug!" Grace cried out, moving to sob into Harry's shoulder.

Louis sobbed brokenly at the sound of his daughter's cries. He looked up with wet eyes before hiccupping and turning away. He couldn't do this anymore.

"I can't do this," he said aloud, quietly. "I can't do any of this anymore."

Harry clutched onto Louis' shoulder. "What do you mean, Lou?" Harry asked, tears coming into his eyes as Louis stood up, throwing the test away.

"I'm tired Harry," Louis responded, "It's gonna be hard enough with Grace.  I can't...we can't have another baby," he said, crossing his arms over his chest as he exited and walked into the kitchen.

"Louis," Harry breathed, gasping. He followed his husband into the kitchen, Grace still in his arms. "You...you can't have an abortion."

"Well what else am I supposed to do?" Louis asked as he turned off the burner, the soup long burnt. "It's not like Grace will remember you when she's older, and the baby won't even know who the hell you are. Every family member lives two hours away and all our friends have their own families. How will I make money if I'm too busy being barefoot and pregnant at home? All our savings have gone to medical bills. I just..." Louis collapsed onto the floor in a fit of sobs. "I'm so scared Harry. I don't wanna lose you."

Harry swallowed and kneeled down in front of Louis, placing Grace down so she could run off and play. He held Louis close.

"Louis I have insurance. It's all building up so you can be taken care of. And. I talked to some people. I found a support group that you can attend, for single parent widows and widowers. And Perrie and Zayn are moving here in a week or two. I'm not leaving you alone. I'm not leaving you with nothing," Harry said, carding his hand through Louis' hair.

"I don't want you to leave," Louis choked out. "I want you to grow old with me. You promised me that when we first met. You said we'd grow old and feed birds together. I don't want you to die. I love you so much."

Harry held Louis close. "You think i want to go? I'm leaving behind everything I love. Grace isn't going to remember me. All she's gonna know is pictures and videos. And I'm not gonna be able to hold you like this anymore. I can't kiss you. Or hug you. Or make love to you. My family is going to be gone from me. Everything I have built and loved here on earth is going to be gone from me. And I don't want people to hurt. I don't want to be forgotten. I don't want to die," Harry croaked, gasping for air.

He wiped at the tears on his cheeks.

"I can't fucking deal with this anymore. Everyday I wake up in so much pain and then I look at you and I think it worth it. But then you cry. And I realize that I'm living in pain only to die later than sooner. What kind of fucked up place is earth? What kind of fucked up thing is life?"

Louis sobbed as he shook his head. "I don't know. I can't...I won't be able to move on, Harry. I can't. I'll misd the way you hold me at night, and the way you smile at me. I'll miss your kisses, and the way you make love to me slowly and full of love. I'll miss you so much, and Grace and the baby will be the only things keeping me from joining you," Louis admitted, clinging onto Harry tightly.

Harry gripped onto Louis' arms. "Louis, no. Don't say that," Harry cried, "you. You can't just say that to me. You have to move on. You have to be happy again. I can't leave you unhappy and alone. I promised you at the wedding, in my vows, that you would always be loved and cared for. And I am going to keep that promise by letting you move on."

Louis shook his head quickly. "I can't Harry, I can't. I know you want me to, but you'll never understand that without you, I'm no one. Do you know how hard it'll be to stay here, and look at our children, and not miss you? Do you know how hard it'll be not to join you? Everything Harry. As much as I love our children, they look like you! They're the only things keeping me here!"

Harry pulled Louis back and looked into his eyes. "Louis, I need you to be strong for me. I need you to be strong for Grace and our baby. I need you to be strong for yourself. I know you'll miss me. I know you'll always love me. But I want you to be happy after I'm gone. I don't expect you to move on right when I'm gone. But try when it's been a couple of years, Louis. Please," Harry said, rubbing tears away from Louis' cheeks.

"I can't," Louis whispered as he looked into Harry's green eyes. He just stared, mesmerizing every flick of gold in the green irises. He gently cupped Harry's cheek and ran his finger along the cheekbone, his tanned skin dark against Harry's plae skin. He moved his hand and gently played with one of Harry's curls. He started sobbing again and buried his face in the crook of Harry's neck.

Harry held Louis close, wrapping his arms around his waist and squeezing him once to reassure him. "Please," Harry whispered, begging for Louis to just follow through, "try to be happy when I'm gone."

He pulled Louis back and cupped his face, bring him up to kiss him softly, licking into his mouth slowly, trying to comfort him.

Louis wrapped his arms tight around Harry's neck, holding him close. He moved his lips quickly against Harry's, never wanting to stop kissing him. He tangled his fingers in Harry's dense curls, bringing him impossibly closer.

Harry clutched on to Louis' back, bringing him onto his lap. He held Louis close, whimpering softly. He could feel tears fall from Louis' and his cheeks. He didn't want to let go. Didn't want to lose his everything. Didn't want to leave all of his loved things behind.

Louis cried steadily as he kissed Harry. He knew he needed to calm down, that he couldn't get too worked up because it could harm the baby. He moved his lips roughly against Harry's, not really caring, just needing to feel Harry's lips on his own.

Harry held Louis closer, as close as he could, until he couldn't anymore. He could feel his chest start to hurt from lack of breathing and he felt a bit light headed, but he kissed Louis a bit more. Until he absolutely couldn't anymore. He pulled back, breathing deeply for air. He opened his eyes and looked into Louis' eyes, still clutching his back.

Louis put his forehead on Harry's, closing his eyes as he caught his breath. He knew his lips were red, but he didn't care.

Harry licked his lips as he closed his eyes too, breathing heavily against Louis' lips. "I love you," Harry breathed, leaning forward to catch Louis' lips in another short kiss.

"I love you too," Louis said as he gently cupped Harry's face. "So fucking much."

Harry let out a small sob, gripping onto Louis' hips so hard, he was sure bruises were going to be left behind. But he didn't care and Louis didn't seem to either.

"What do you wanna do?" Harry asked softly, running his thumbs over the small patch of skin visible near Louis' hipbone.

"Can we drop Grace off at one of her friends' house and just cuddle together?" Louis asked, "I just want you to hold me."

Harry nodded, smiling. "Whatever you want, my love," Harry said, helping Louis off of him and then standing up slowly. He wiped at his tears and nose, then went towards Grace's room.

When he entered, Grace was on the bed, sniffling a little. Harry sat next to her and squeezed her leg.

"What's wrong Bug-a-butt?" Harry asked, causing Grace to smile a little.

"I heard you and Daddy crying. So it made me cry because I don't like when you guys cry," Grace said, wiping at her tears.   
Harry pouted. "Aw, Bugaboo! Here. I know what'll make you happy!" Grace instantly perked up. "How about we call up Jessica's mummy and see if you can go over there and spend the night! How's that sound?"

Grace smiled wide and nodded. "Yay! Jessi!"

Louis smiled at hearing his daughter's voice. He put his hand on his stomach and smiled. He hoped this next one would be a boy.

Harry walked out into the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe and staring at his husband fondly.

Louis felt eyes on him and he turned and saw Harry staring at him. He blushed and turned away. "Aren't you gonna call Jessica's mum?"

Harry hummed, walking over to wrap his arms around Louis' waist and holding his husbands stomach. "Wanna love you for a second," Harry muttered as he pressed a kiss to the back of Louis' neck.

Louis smiled, "You could also call Jessica's mum and love on me more after..."

Harry sighed. "Fine," he groaned, feigning annoyance. He picked up the phone and dialed up Arianna's number. "Hey, Ari. Hi. Is Jessica up for a slumber party? Lou and I need some time to ourselves. Yeah, sorry for the short notice. Really? Okay. Love ya, too. Buh-bye," Harry hung up and shrugged.

"Am I going to Jessica's?" Grace yelled from the doorway, scaring Harry.

"Yeah, babe. Jessica's mum said it was okay for you to stay the weekend," Harry said, winking over at Louis.

Louis smiled, blushing lightly. He went into Grace's bedroom and packed her bag, filling it with clean clothes and pajamas. He also packed her toothbrush and stuffed bear named Pookie.

"That everything sweetheart?" he asked, looking around her room, still painted the same way as before she was born.

Grace nodded, grabbing a chaptered book and handing it to Louis. "This too, please," Grace asked, smiling up at Louis.

Harry chuckled and picked Grace up. "Alright. On the way to Jessica's house!"

"I'm gonna stay and make dinner. Don't forget to tell Arianna she hasn't ate yet," Louis told Harry before smiling at his daughter. "Have fun ok? I love you." He kissed her forehead, brushing the hair from her eyes.

Harry drove Grace to Arianna and Jessica's, dropping her off and telling Ari that she hadn't eaten yet. Which was good, since they hadn't, either.

When Harry arrived home, he went into the kitchen, surprised to see Louis wasn't in there.

"Lou? I thought you were cooking!" Harry called out.

"I did! Kinda," he called from the living room. He held up a box of Chinese food, smiling. "I was craving rice."

Harry walked into the living room, and quirked an eyebrow. "Okay," Harry said slowly, sitting down next to Louis. "Why did you change clothes?"   
He looked Louis up and down, smiling a little when he noticed the oversized sweater was not oversized at all and just belonged to Harry.

"I was cold," Louis said, smirking. "Check underneath and you might find something you like."

Harry smiled and chuckled. "Oh yeah?" Harry said, moving to sit on his legs and face Louis. He placed his hands on Louis' waist, bringing him closer. "Tell me what you want, Lou," Harry said, biting his lip.

"I want...my fortune cookie," Louis said before reaching over and grabbing the cookie off the coffee table.

Harry snorted, and quirked an eyebrow. "Okay. What does it say?" Harry asked, trying, but failing, to pluck it from Louis' hands.

"It says none of your business you stupid arsewipe," Louis said, breaking the fortune cookie in half and reading the fortune.

Harry pouted. "I'm not stupid. I'm special," Harry said. "What does it say?"

Louis crumpled the piece of paper up and threw it on the floor. "Something stupid," he said before shoving the cookie into his mouth.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. "No, I want to know," Harry said, trying to find it on the floor.

Louis rolled his eyes as he chewed on the cookie. He put his foot on top of it when he found it before Harry.

Harry whined. "Louis," Harry said, crawling over to his husband. He tried to lift up his foot, but he had very limited strength. "That's no fair. I can't strain myself! Just tell me the fortune like the amazingly beautiful husband you are."

"It says you'll be slapped here a minute," Louis said, rolling his eyes as he lifted his foot off the small piece of paper.

Harry snatched up the paper, and read it, quirking an eyebrow. "What's wrong with 'your future will be grand and love's in the air'?" Harry asked, biting his lip after. "Oh."

"Like I said, stupid," he said as he shoved another forkful of rice into his mouth.

Harry sighed. "Louis," Harry started, placing his hand on Louis' thigh, "I want you to move on."

"You can't make me do anything I don't want to," Louis said quietly. "And I don't wanna move on."

Harry rubbed circles into his thigh. "Louis, I just want you to consider it. I don't want you raising the kids by yourself."

"I'm fine Harry," Louis insisted, "I don't mind being a single parent. I don't...no one will ever...I don't want..." he started crying as he gripped onto his food, shaking as Harry held him.

Harry held Louis to his chest, rubbing circles into his side. "Louis, you'll be okay. I trust you that you'll be okay no matter what you choose. If you don't want to move on...I'll try to understand. If you do, I won't mind," Harry said, kissing Louis' cheek.

"I don't wanna move on, Harry. P-please don't make me," he sobbed, "I wanna be Louis Styles until I die."

"I won't make you," Harry said, "I just want you to be happy. I don't want you to feel alone."

"I won't," Louis said in a quiet voice. "I'll have Grace, and the new baby. And I'll visit you. And I have friends and family."

Harry held Louis closer, rubbing at his back slowly and softly. He kissed Louis' forehead, breathing in the scent of his hair. "What do you want to do, Lou? We have the whole weekend to ourselves," Harry whispered, squeezing Louis' hip with his hand.

"I just want you to hold me," Louis whispered as he put his food on the coffee table. "I don't care as long as you hold me."

Harry nodded, holding Louis close, kissing his forehead and hair every now and then. "You're so beautiful," Harry whispered, rubbing his side slowly.

Louis blushed as he shook his head. "Look who's talking. How did I ever get lucky enough to marry you? I don't deserve you."

Harry pinched Louis' side. "Oi! You deserve all of the love in the world and someone a lot better than me. Someone who can give you a full and happy live. I don't deserve you," Harry said.

Louis smacked Harry's chest. "I don't care about a long and happy life as long as you love me while you're here. That's all that matters to me."

Harry held Louis closer, pulling him onto his lap. "I really want to be here forever for you. So I can hold you. And love you," Harry said, looking up into Louis' eyes.

Louis smiled as he laid his head on Harry's shoulder. "I wish you could stay here forever, too. I love you very much a lot."

Harry chuckled. "I love you very much a lot, too," Harry said, wrapping his arms around Louis' waist.

"Sing to me," Louis asked quietly. "Your voice always comforts me."

Harry hummed in acknowledgement, thinking up of some different songs to sing. He chose an Ed Sheeran song, humming the starting notes before singing. "Another day, another life passing by it's not complicated," Harry started quietly.

Louis smiled as he closed his eyes, cuddling further into Harry.

Harry smiled, chuckling lightly. He squeezed Louis close, running his fingers over his back.

Louis arched his back against Harry's hand. His hand moved to his stomach and he smiled. "I hope it's a boy."

Harry smiled up to Louis, nodding. "Me too. A boy that looks just like you, since Grace looks more like me," Harry responded, pressing a kiss to Louis' neck.

Louis giggled quietly. "I want him to look more like you. And what should we nickname him? Grace was Bug."

"June. Grace said Junebug and it's stuck with me," Harry responded. He nuzzled his nose in Louis' neck.

Louis beamed, "That sounds wonderful. And if it's a girl, we can name her June. And how about...well I don't know for a boy. I've always liked Abraham."

Harry hummed. "A bit outdated, ain't it?" he asked, chuckling a little. "I like Xavier. Meet at a happy medium and name him Alexander? I like my x's and you like the older, longer a names."

Louis scrunched his nose. "Xavier? Really? And I'm not feeling Alexander. Hmm...what about you pick he middle name, and I'll pick the first name?" he said hesitantly.

Harry shrugged. "Okay. Or...or I'll let you pick it all out. I...I won't make it to see 'im born. I'm sorry, Lou, I won't. So I want you to name her or him," Harry offered, taking a deep shaky breath.

Louis's eyes watered as he buried his face in the crook of Harry's neck. "Then we can name him Alexander and whatever middle name you want. Because whatever you want is what's gonna happen."

Harry shook his head. "Louis. Please give me one dying wish. Name our baby whatever you want," Harry begged, carding his fingers through Louis' hair.

Louis sniffled, "C-can you at least give them a middle name? Both J-June and...Abraham?"

Harry nodded. "June Elizabeth Styles and Abraham Lee Styles. Do those sound good?" Harry asked, still rubbing at Louis' back.

Louis nodded, "Y-you're not mad because Abraham's name doesn't have an 'x' are you? I just...I don't like Xavier or Alexander..."

Harry shook his head. "Why would I be mad? I love everything about you, including the names you come up with. I'll happily be the father of Abraham," Harry replied, kissing Louis.

Louis smiled and brought Harry's hand down to his stomach. "Say hi to Dad, Jellybean."

Harry chuckled. "Jellybean? I like that. Jellybean? Oh Jellybean! It's Dad. How are you baby? I hope you're doing okay," Harry cooed, laughing along with Louis after.

Louis smiled fondly at Harry. "I love you so much," he whispered, gently cupping Harry's cheek.

Harry smiled back, putting his hand behind Louis' neck. "I love you too. So fucking much," Harry whispered back, leaning forward to kiss Louis.

Louis smiled against Harry's lips, one hand laced with Harry's on his stomach and the other on his cheek.

It was perfect.

The next couple of months carried out like that. It was perfect, despite Harry's cancer becoming worse and worse.

That is, until one day, Harry didn't wake up. He had fallen asleep just fine, but couldn't wake up. No matter how many times he was screamed at, shaken, and slapped, Harry wouldn't flutter his eyes open.

When Harry finally did wake up, he was hooked up to some machines at the hospital, a crying Louis next to him. It was then that Harry knew what was going to happen.

He was going to die.

Louis was six months pregnant when Harry was emitted to the hospital. He never left Harry's side, only to use the restroom, and when the nurses all but kicked him out. They said he needed to rest and take care of the baby he was carrying.

He lived off of hospital food until Jay and Anne dragged him home for a proper meal. Grace kept asking where her Dad was, only to receive silence as an answer.

When Harry woke up that Friday, Louis was a crying mess. The doctors just told him Harry wouldn't live much longer. They said it'd be a miracle if he woke up the next day.

Harry smiled weakly at Louis. "H-hi, b-b-baby-y," Harry croaked, raising his hand only a little before it dropped.

He winced when he went into a round of coughs. He could feel his lungs shaking and heart stuttering in his chest. There was a sharp pain, causing him whimper. He looked over at Louis, though, pain and love in his eyes, smiling.

"I...I l-love-ve you-ou," Harry whispered, breathing in deeply and shakily.

"I love you too," Louis said through his tears. He gently cupped Harry's face. "I, um, I asked the doctor what gender the baby was. I wanted to see your face once last time when we find out the gender. We're having a boy, Harry. Little Jellybean is a boy."

Harry face lit up as much as it could, wide but weak smile on his face. "A b-boy?! Louis-is, we're h-h-having an Abr-braham Lee!" Harry cheered quietly, tears coming to his eyes. "We're having a baby-by boy."

Louis smiled and wiped the tears away from Harry's eyes. "The baby's kicking!" he said happily, gently moving Harry's hand onto his stomach. "Feel it?"

Harry chuckled as Abraham kicked at his hand, making him smile wider. "Louis, h-he lov-ves me," Harry said, wheezing as he tried to sit up. "N-no," Harry whined, more tears falling down his cheeks. "I-I wanna-na k-kiss you-ou."

Louis sat up quickly and gently kissed Harry. "I love you so much," he whispered against Harry's lips. "And I want you to know, that no matter what, I'll always love you. And I'll show our gorgeous kids videos and pictures of you. You won't ever be forgotten."

Harry breathed heavily still, coughing a little into his fist. "And-d I'll be wa-watch-ching ov-very you g-guys. I promised-ed to k-keep you and our-r kids-ds safe. I wo-won't break-k-k that pro-promise," Harry said, gasping in a breath. "Shit. I love-ve-ve you."

Harry could feel his chest tightening, body shaking. He felt like he had absolutely no control over himself. There was a distant crying and beeping sound. And all Harry could do was let the feeling of pain and discomfort take over his body.

Louis started crying harder at Harry's heart monitor flat lined. "I love you too Harry, so much."

Louis was ushered from the room and into the waiting room. Anne and Gemma were sitting in the waiting room, and when they saw Louis walk in, crying, they seemed to know. They got up and hugged Louis close, crying as they held him close.

At Harry's funeral, Louis was crying as he shakily put a picture of him, Harry, and Grace, along with the newest sonogram of Abraham in Harry's coffin. He set the pictures right on Harry's hands. As the service continued, Louis's hands never left his stomach as he stared blankly at the coffin.

It was fall when Harry died. There were leaves falling down the trees, a mixture of oranges, yellows, browns, and greens.

_'Close your eyes before the sleep. And you're miles away, and yesterday, you were here with me.'_

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! we hope you enjoyed it! :D


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